Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
