I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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