I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
