then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts