like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES