Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
two words...techno handjob
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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