I look better un-naked...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.