i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
