my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
