all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.