Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

got weed?

(425): View more from Washington

I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.

(206): View more from Washington

sorry mom...

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(206): got weed? (425): I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone. (206): sorry mom... http://tfl.nu/04mv

Replies (157) Good night (2258) Bad night (18015)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?

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(603): So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'? http://tfl.nu/2o2u

Replies (26) Good night (951) Bad night (3764)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Did we use protection last night?

(1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

Um, no...keep in touch, okay?

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(780): Did we use protection last night? (1-780): Um, no...keep in touch, okay? http://tfl.nu/2myc

Replies (46) Good night (1274) Bad night (14889)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.

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(403): Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'. http://tfl.nu/ube5

Replies (8) Good night (5826) Bad night (1430)
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(757): View more from Virginia

You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....

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(757): You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors.... http://tfl.nu/43xp

Replies (4) Good night (3533) Bad night (1911)
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(912): View more from Georgia

I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.

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(912): I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars. http://tfl.nu/3pqt

Replies (2) Good night (1312) Bad night (753)
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(563): View more from Iowa

I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.

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(563): I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished. http://tfl.nu/1qri

Replies (10) Good night (5470) Bad night (933)
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(862): View more from New Jersey

Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.

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(862): Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her. http://tfl.nu/mnen

Replies (9) Good night (2800) Bad night (1480)
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(377): View more from

I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"

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(377): I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick" http://tfl.nu/h7rr

Replies (9) Good night (2383) Bad night (868)
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(567): View more from Ohio

She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs

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(567): She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs http://tfl.nu/brto

Replies (9) Good night (2624) Bad night (554)
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(818): View more from California

Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?

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(818): Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs? http://tfl.nu/leke

Replies (13) Good night (1008) Bad night (681)
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(801): View more from Utah

You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?

(650): View more from California

I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.

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(801): You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address? (650): I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days. http://tfl.nu/fel9

Replies (3) Good night (1060) Bad night (395)
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(416): View more from Toronto

I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.

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(416): I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex. http://tfl.nu/t4eg

Replies (4) Good night (837) Bad night (330)
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(734): View more from Michigan

So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.

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(734): So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return. http://tfl.nu/kh9h

Replies (1) Good night (650) Bad night (359)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything

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(610): I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything http://tfl.nu/3wxq

Replies (0) Good night (342) Bad night (476)

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