he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?