I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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