She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
