No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
