I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
