Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
