I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
