WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
