You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
