Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
