If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
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