this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
