This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
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he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
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No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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