fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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