I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
