All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
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