Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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