I want to make a zoo with you.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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