Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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