somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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