if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
