Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
high people should be assigned attendants
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
