My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
