I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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