it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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