I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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