were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
