yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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