I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You can't special order awesome
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
