can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
