I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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