Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize