I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Those nachos came to me in a dream
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
