You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he fucked my hip out of place.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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