Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize