I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
