does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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