you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
