Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
