3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
