Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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