Christians are straight up FREAKS
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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