I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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