I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
