he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
