I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize