East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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