i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
