She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
