We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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